On feeling less idiomatic but more natural — and very little
I have been missing English. I am exposed in English, I am smaller and less idiomatic, yet I feel more natural too. Spanish is my real life, with all its unnatural, nonsensical ugliness. English was helping me.
I love thinking, speaking and writing in English, and this in passing proves that mine was not a problem of vainglory and pride — since in English I feel I am very little.