On drugs
Coffee. - Its ability to wake us up is overrated (it actually wakes us up indirectly, through the activation of the nerves, which is a double-edged sword) and its antidepressant effect is underemphasised.
Tobacco. - It is supposedly absurd to consume it because it has no psychological effect: I suspect that this is not true and there are already studies on the subject that refute it.
Alcohol. - A tempting anesthetic for a depressed person, but this analgesic effect is minimal and brings with it many and very negative consequences, especially for sadness. It helps you fall asleep, but makes your sleep interrupted and poor. Alcohol is definitely worth it only when you feel reasonably well, have eaten well and are preferably in good company.
Espidifen. - Ibuprofen was invented, successfully, to relieve alcohol hangovers. Combined with arginine, it is a fascinating painkiller and anti-inflammatory. During the toughest time of dental interventions, I had to take three doses a day on quite close days, which resulted in severe and continuous stomach pain for three months. Still, I love Espidifen.
Hashish / Marijuana. - Allegedly relaxing and taken by many as a sleeping pill, they caused me some of the most terrifying anxiety episodes of my life and I can’t even smell these materials since. Even when the effect was relaxing, hungry or funny, there was that treacherous cloudiness in the background of hashish and marijuana that eventually came through.
Lexatin. - Absolutely useless anxiolytic whose only effect on me was to make me gain weight due to fluid retention.
Lorazepam. - Effective anxiolytic that besides relaxing helps to shake off bad thoughts.
Fluoxetine. - In a period of quite high sadness, and without anxiety, the effect was moderate, anti-romantic, and of quenching. In a period of infinite sadness, however, and with acute anxiety as the ultimate consequence, the impact of fluoxetine is both more noticeable and more natural: not of indifference, but of an anchor that attenuates the bad times and accentuates and lengthens the good ones.
It is possible that a cup of coffee does you good, and that later, when you feel a throbbing somewhere between nervousness and grief, lorazepam then feels good, without that meaning that it rectifies the effect of the coffee. They are not exactly opposite substances.
(8th September, 2024)
Fluoxetine in the morning and lorazepam for rest at night are fixed. Ideally, neither of the other two doses of lorazepam available will be needed, but if attacks occur during the day that are not too extreme, a dilemma emerges:
— on the one hand, you can go without taking the pill and thus tolerance will not be affected, and the drug will retain its full effect should the need arise;
— on the other hand, if you take the pill at the slightest opportunity, the discomfort will be a much less frequent element, you will spend the days getting used to feeling fairly normal. And, although in this second way the tolerance to the effect will increase, it will be more likely that the anxiety will have diminished sooner and with less suffering and that the full effect of the medication will be less required.